Who But I

A syndrome that is wired inside my brain
It makes me seem a little weird to some
But my life is not easy to maintain
I see the flaws in everything I’ve done
And then on top of that there is the arm
The leg and everything that’s on my right
My brain it seems has suffered yet more harm
The palsy and there still is one more slight
Affliction is an ugly word to choose
About a man just simply born this way
Autistic spastic and to top all that
I’m absolutely fabulously gay
And who but I can any human be
That universal unique sense of me

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Physic

Sky retains a blue above the grey
Just a cloud a mother chose to wed
Sanctioned as the state constructed wife
Heavy iron sky fell onto head
Metaphysical the force is felt
The acid reign but child is left unscarred
Nothing super in a man of steel
Fusion family fissures are so hard
Mother broken by the son god first
Refugee in second handed love
Children are not merely chipped from block
Birthed in push but life resembles shove
When the pressure drops the spirits rise
Clouds will pass revealing bluest skies

Kim (Name Now Known)

Suggested by a woman name unknown
She thought of me a writer without place
And so the afternoon I gift myself
To wander in the garden that was grown
The harbour almost seems the afterthought
Secluded in the shady secret spot
The labouring of love in lavender
This fantasy from spoil with magic wrought
Oasis for the soul rejuvenate
The care for fellow man in exercise
To gift an eden stranger free to roam
The kindness shared has made me contemplate
So I must thank the woman name unknown
My gift to her this poem she shall own

Observatory

I live as if detached from my own heart
Dispassionate I can my life observe
If I explained that well you should perceive
That even I am chilled by my reserve
My gifts are mine unique and set apart
I view myself as not one of the pack
But when my microscope is turned on me
It analyses only what I lack
Expressing empathy in different ways
Would visualise a bridge but don’t know how
To live one step beyond your love for me
Obscures togetherness I see that now
I hope you know you’re loved more than you feel
For you’re the one who makes observance real

Reach

I reach across divide to touch your heart
Recoil from me as if I carry plague
You have it seems a phobia of kind
The cry for help is kept distinctly vague
I reach again more gentle by your side
The shrug a reflex damage people learn
Insouciance so studied lack the care
You feel that trust is something you can spurn
I reach the point where friends suggest defeat
My soft expression target for your lies
And then you whip your tongue across my face
The vitriol an effluent surprise
I reach within I’m human and humane
The softest cushion best absorbs the pain

Rat Trap

My life is not what most would choose to be
But I am truly happy in my place
For I have found the treasure in my soul
My smile the daily grind cannot deface
The riches that I have cannot be banked
I have no money I do not possess
Ephemera or tokens of esteem
The trappings of what some might call success
But I can look myself straight in the eye
My happiness is not at your expense
Attack me if you will but think on this
Aggression unprovoked I’ve no defence
My only struggle was the search for peace
To know that racing rats can find release

Depths

A drowning man unhappy at the fair
The go around less merry than before
Rotates around the lower self esteem
So drunkenly prostrated on the floor
You blame external for the gaping hole
The countless men don’t give the love you crave
Suggestion that you need to love yourself
Despairing queen disparaging of knave
The hall of mirrors I was once like you
The twist of pain like lemon in my gin
I hope one day your life will turn around
And soberly you’ll turn your gaze within
The love you seek the life affirming crown
Is hidden in the depths in which you drown