The bitter hides within
But in will always out
The dark that has been cast
No shadow in the doubt
To lose the love of self
Neglect can habit form
No wonder then the care
Became so tired and worn
Humane has ceased to be
The anger lacking hope
A human being sad
Whose goal is just to cope
What problems do they face
And there but for the grace
A river urging onward to the shore
The banks a prison stop it flowing free
The force so natural surging in my vein
Restrained I could not choose what I would be
My course was dammed you would not brook my dream
But I will flood convention and destroy
My rocky bed was not what you desire
And you no longer thirst that I enjoy
I am the sea my heart now saline washed
My ocean just a drop in your disdain
My flow won’t ebb so dry the pointless stream
My passing will allow you to remain
And if you ever think upon that spring
Just know I don’t regret the falling in
Contemplating all I never was
Reflecting on the paths I didn’t take
Cogitating what and if because
Perception of the self is what’s at stake
Steps I’ve taken wonder were they go
A merry dance that somehow landed here
Worry in my head and yet I know
That nothing can be worse than what I fear
Time to put a stop to all this thought
Procrastinating traps us in the mind
Clear my head and take a little a walk
The joy of not quite sure what I might find
All I never was will never be
And thus I am a human being me
Take a glass of jasmine tea and sit with me a while
See the frown that’s on your face transform into a smile
Life can take us places that we never dreamed were true
When you need to feel at home I’ve time to share with you
Life is an adventure but when things are getting rough
Just remember gentle can be just strong as tough
Use your heart, engage your mind before you choose to fight
Just because someone is wrong does not give you the right
Child you are so lucky having everything you need
Choose the path of kindness and I know you will succeed
You will leave your teacher soon beneath the shady tree
But tell me of your hope and fears and drink some jasmine tea.
I went to work. I wandered home. My life was simplified.
For I was there and all alone with no one at my side.
The roundabout of love for me was not an easy ride.
No pity please! I can survive. I’m made of stronger stuff.
That playground’s made me realise that I can be so tough.
I have my health and sense of self, for now that is enough.
I see you look. I see the eyes. You want to ask me why.
Am I aloof, unpopular, or simply high and dry?
That sombre and unsmiling man who watches you pass by.
You turn around. I feel your gaze. You pierce me deep inside.
And all the pain and hurt that over years I’ve tried to hide,
You comprehend and validate then gently put aside.
You take my hand. You swing my heart. You turn my insides out.
You want to change my life and that you can, I have no doubt.
I go to work but simple has become more roundabout.
So take a little look at me
I wonder what your eyes will see
Perhaps my disability
Or all the things I cannot be
More than a sexuality
I’m deep in my complexity
With spectrum seen disorderly
So when you try to label me
Make sure it’s three dimensionally
In being human I can be
A mass of possibility
A friend to you potentially
So open up your eyes and see
There’s good in all humanity