The clouds had cast their net across the sky
To catch my sun and stop its early rise
And weather done by god knows who or why
A beauty hit me square between the eyes
It dawned on me as yellow orange red
Of morning smeared quite natural yet so high
That I could stay forever in my head
And never question what has gone awry
The truth is an observer not a star
This bed I’ve made is where I constant lie
I’m here but I’m not going very far
A second rate and very Cold War spy
Yet beauty finds the everyman at last
So clear the cloudy peel away the mask
Contemplating all I never was
Reflecting on the paths I didn’t take
Cogitating what and if because
Perception of the self is what’s at stake
Steps I’ve taken wonder were they go
A merry dance that somehow landed here
Worry in my head and yet I know
That nothing can be worse than what I fear
Time to put a stop to all this thought
Procrastinating traps us in the mind
Clear my head and take a little a walk
The joy of not quite sure what I might find
All I never was will never be
And thus I am a human being me
And being me I plunged into the pool
I didn’t stop to think or make a plan
For I am the antithesis of cool
A really rather awkward sort of man
I’m not exactly archetypal geek
My brain is not so beautiful you see
And don’t expect some nerdish kind of chic
Banality epitomises me
Yet happily I swim among the sharks
Surviving without wing or need to pray
My motivation nothing more than larks
Though why it makes me laugh I cannot say
No evidence except my circumstance
But life is such merry little dance
Without you here I’ve finally become
The man who walks away not looking back
The two divide and I’m remainder one
The future parts repressive clouds of black
I ran until my very breath expired
Then took the time to find the man I am
For life had left me bruised and broken, tired
Reality was nothing but a sham
The war of independence over now
Republic not subjected to a king
Consider this my last and final bow
For you to me no longer mean a thing
I’m not confined I live without a plan
Except to be a free and happy man
I went to work. I wandered home. My life was simplified.
For I was there and all alone with no one at my side.
The roundabout of love for me was not an easy ride.
No pity please! I can survive. I’m made of stronger stuff.
That playground’s made me realise that I can be so tough.
I have my health and sense of self, for now that is enough.
I see you look. I see the eyes. You want to ask me why.
Am I aloof, unpopular, or simply high and dry?
That sombre and unsmiling man who watches you pass by.
You turn around. I feel your gaze. You pierce me deep inside.
And all the pain and hurt that over years I’ve tried to hide,
You comprehend and validate then gently put aside.
You take my hand. You swing my heart. You turn my insides out.
You want to change my life and that you can, I have no doubt.
I go to work but simple has become more roundabout.
Every moment I would share
If you would let me in
Loving isn’t easy when
You feel the need to win
See a side you try to hide
I know you are afraid
Love is not a game of cards
But here my heart is laid
I don’t know the things you’ve seen
Or why you shy away
Know that if I earn your trust
You’ll pull me close one day
Lover be yourself and do
Not fear I am a friend
Hand in hand I’m here right now
And will be till the end
Kidnapper of my empty thoughts
Hold me to ransom in the night
Take all my reservations
And throw them beyond reason.
I am captive but you are tied
My fate lies with yours
On life’s cold hard floor
You are my comfort