Dead or Alive

What did you find in the bottom of the bottle
How many demons to release
Poured you a drink and then poured for you another
One way to get a little peace
What did you want when you told me you were leaving
I watched you falling out the door
Did you believe I would lose myself in grieving
I felt like I'd been through the war
You're so unkind on the days that you are drinking
How many days are in a week
Alcohol won but the friend got lost I'm thinking
Help wasn't something you would seek
Everyone knows never trust an alcoholic
They only want another glass
Hatred you'd spew after being melancholic
Thank you I will not kiss your arse
Nothing is found in the bottom of the bottle
Saving the pain on which your heartache seems thrive
Drinking is one way to numb the pain of hurting
Dead drunk but feel you're still alive

The Grim Reaper

You think I am responsible
I'm not
The flesh upon my weary bones
May rot
My putrid life is festering
Like sores
So you think I have no values and
No mores
Despising is the easiest
To do
For understanding needs the will
From you
And no man would invest his time
You see
But destiny has played a trick
On me
For I was once a someone in
These parts
But once the rumours spread we close
Our hearts
A man who's labelled does not have
A choice
They cast you off and take away
Your voice
And being out there's no way back
You know
And I have reaped what other men
Did sow

Lie

The heat of passion steaming up my thought
Till mirror of reflection clouded out
The haze of your desire lingers yet
Inside my head a shimmering of doubt
That tender tendril lustily entwined
Until my reason choked on your demand
And all we had was mirrors and some smoke
And love is lying lifeless in your hand
Our passion spent like thirty silver coins
If only we had stopped and used our head
But girded loins and labour weren’t the force
That stripped us bare and left us on the bed
Where lust is dying now is growing shame
With men who lie but never speak their name 

In A Fix

I was once a man like you devoid of woe and care
Life has worn me down and now I almost never where
Lights are shining, life is lived, I let it pass me by
Hiding in the dark my only want is getting high
Junkies are created from mistakes we all might make
Judge me if you like but I have nothing much at stake
Loss is just a luxury I’ve nothing left to give
Scum upon the earth and I do not deserve to live
I was once somebody’s son a mother’s pride and joy
Half a man but once I was a sweet and happy boy
Now I am the son and heir of half a gram of junk
Floated in nirvana when I woke I had been sunk
Steal the shirt from off your back and sell the family jewels
When you’ve hit the bottom you don’t live by little rules
Don’t you understand that I can play so many tricks
Why because I sell my soul to get another fix

Hate

The look he gave was one of such disdain
As if he caught a whiff of open drain
He promised he would never come again
I stripped the sheets from bed where we had lain
He thinks that I’m to blame for his desire
That somehow I ignite eternal fire
That burning in his groin will not expire
But I am just a fan to take it higher
The thing he can’t abide is found within
Discomfort lurks beneath that perfect skin
And what I think is beauty labelled sin
He sees himself as lost for giving in
Compassion is the love that I will show
This hate of self a pain I also know

A Date To Remember

I’ll meet you by the bridge, let’s say at eight
I’ve got a plan so say you won’t be late
The words I’ve waited so long to arrive
And finally, he’s noticed I’m alive
A few deep breaths and soon he will be here
From which direction will my date appear
Perhaps he’s waiting on the other side
So nervous hope that soon he will arrive
A quarter past I hear the city chime
Perhaps I have misunderstood the time
At nine I realise that he won’t show
I wonder why he didn’t, start to go
And then a thought occurs that makes me sick
Is this some kind of homophobic trick
Has he been watching seeing how I wait
A voyeur’s satisfaction at my fate
A puppet master thinks he has my strings
But no one but myself makes me do things
I walk onto the bridge and climb the rail
Imagine I’m a ship that’s setting sail
I see his face as I am falling free
A man who won’t forget not meeting me

The Man

Just sixteen when he hit me in the face
A child and still at school he didn’t care
Decided he should put me in my place
For being gay though I was unaware
At sixteen hadn’t thought about that yet
Examinations loomed ahead of me
My thought was of the grades that I might get
An education sets a person free
At twenty one I saw him in the park
Forbidden fruit he likes to suck it dry
Ashamed of love he hides it in the dark
He’s in a cage but I have learnt to fly
A coward he is not as strong as me
For I’m the man that he’s afraid to be